The 6-Step Guide to Moving as a Couple Without Going Crazy

You’re ready and thrilled to start a new chapter of your life. It’s time to move into a new home with your partner for the first time. It might be a bit of a struggle.

As with any big transition, this change can be intimidating—and emotions can run high. No matter how well you cooperate, most couples run into at least a bit of conflict while moving. If you’re prepared for the challenges that lie ahead, each step will be a little smoother.

1. Make a pre-move checklist

Start by brainstorming every possible thing you might need to do. By the time your list is done, it should, at the very least, include these key steps:

1. Take an inventory of both you and your partner’s apartments

2. Decide (together) what you’ll keep, toss, donate, or sell

3. Measure everything that’s left (furniture, etc.)

4. Decide how much square footage you need

That second point is crucial. Resolve the keep/toss conflict as early in the process as you can. Sharing a space is impossible without compromise and communication. If you can’t seem to stop butting heads over a certain piece of furniture or item, bring in a friend. An impartial third party can give the perspective you need to make a sound decision.

2. Address your anxieties

When we fight with our loved ones, our anger often comes from anxieties and stresses that are eating at us internally. Are you worried about adjusting to your new place? Nervous about sharing a bathroom? Unsure if you’ll like living in your new city?

It’s easy to translate those fears and insecurities into anger and conflict. When you bottle up and hide them, you’re more likely to blow up into heated arguments with your loved one during your move.

To remedy this, take some time individually to write a list of these worries. In a comfortable, calm environment, sit and take turns sharing them, and be prepared to open a longer dialogue.

3. Identify your strengths & assign roles

Who’s the organized one? The time-management pro? The one who’s surprisingly resourceful? The one who’s more patient in frustrating situations?

It can be hard to get into this discussion without escalating into a fiery argument. The two of you will have to swallow your pride for the sake of this moving process and your long-term happiness.

Once you identify each other’s strengths—clear and out in the open—you can start divvying out responsibilities and tasks. One of you might be in charge of scheduling and planning logistics. The other can take care of decluttering and cleaning before and after you pack all your belongings.

4. Turn your list into action

This is generally good advice for any big task or project. To-do lists are only the first step of execution. You’ll never know if a task list is feasible to complete until you know the tasks can fit into your days. Scheduling your tasks immediately will help you prioritize and cut down on non-essential tasks.

5. Don’t stop living normally

You’re exhausted. Frustrated. Dehydrated. Hungry. The last thing you should do during the long and arduous moving process is failing to take care of yourself.

That means no skipping meals, ordering takeout every day, staying up until 4am, or working without breaks.

6. Give the hard stuff to the pros

You don’t have to do everything. From large furniture heavy lifting to renting moving trucks, moving involves a lot of work that most people would rather not do themselves.

Thankfully, some people do this for a living! There are moving services that can take care of your packing, move your heavy furniture, provide packing supplies, and even travel cross-country to get you to your new home.

Moving with your partner soon? Hire a moving service that gets how stressful moving can be. Let Two Small Men with Big Hearts help make the journey easy. Talk to us for more moving advice or get a free estimate for your move.